Five Stages of Writing* (Editing): Acceptance

I’ve heard of the five stages of grief, we all have, but I’ve been thinking lately that there are, quite possibly, five stages of writing as well. (If not writing, then editing, at least. Yes. That works). They might even be the same stages. But, even if they’re not (and I’m not getting into that right now), what I’m sure is that the last stage of pretty much anything in life is this: acceptance.

Sounds profound, and yet, I promise you, it’s not. Most of us write because we have to, because there’s a story that needs to be told, and some days we feel like we’re merely the vessel. It’s the universe that’s dictating the story. And, yet, when we’re done, when inspiration dries out and your brain comes into play, the inevitable problems begin.

Why is my character doing that? What the hell is he thinking? I’ve often been faced with a blank when I try to examine my characters motives. It’s not that I don’t know the answer to these questions, it’s that I don’t realize I know the answers to these questions. The universe did not dictate the story, after all. I wrote it. I should know. Except I haven’t given it any thought. So, in truth, I don’t know.

That’s easy to fix, I tell myself. Just sit down and think about it. Except thinking and writing don’t go together. Not really. Thinking is for editing, and editing is all good, except when it’s not. Except when you overthink, not the plot (If you’re going to overthink ANYTHING, make it the plot), but the characters.

Characters are like children. (Or what I imagine children would be like). You don’t have to understand them. You don’t have to agree with them. And, if you try too hard to mold them according to your desires and expectations, then they’ll just be miserable.

So, to sum it up: You don’t have to understand your characters. You just have to love them, as they are.

Acceptance. What a weird concept, especially under the circumstances. Characters are not real, a non-writer would tell them. You create them. In a way, they’re you. And part of that might be true. But you don’t do it consciously. You pick a name and a hair color, but the rest, the rest just comes together, part magic, part dedication. I don’t know how it happens. I just know it does.

Well, no, that’s not all I know. I also know (now) that, once all of that happens, that’s when the hard work begins. The hard work of understanding your characters, of following them down the path that you chose for them while making sure they stay true to themselves. For, as someone smarter than me said “the best thing one can do when it's raining is let it rain.” 

And get an umbrella.

Editing process, an internal Monologue V. 2.0

I’ve been sorta MIA, stuck in the land of editing, and though that is not exactly a fulfilling land, I can’t seem to break out of it. I need to keep at it. I need to finish.

Strange thing is, with each second spent editing I find more and more stuff TO edit.

The internal monologue changes each time. Edit number one seems tough, and, in a way, it is. You re-read and think, boy, I USE this word a lot. I need to expand my vocabulary. You catch some stupid continuity mistakes and you go, oh, I’m glad I caught this one before sending it to everyone else. You cut out some repetitions and think, I’m really cleaning this up nice.

And then, you send it to someone else.

Every writer should be lucky enough to have someone in their life (or, in my case, more than one person), who can read over your stuff and go: “This is crap. You need to rewrite it.”

It won’t be what you want to hear, of course. And it will suck, I’m not saying it won’t. But it’ll make you better. Your critique partners might not always be right. But they’ll make you think. And the thinking, that will make you better.

So, edit number two is going sorta like this:

I could have SWORN I’d gotten rid of all repetitions. How come I’ve used this exact same word 396 times in my manuscript??

::reads more::

And this …how did I write this? IT’S A TOTAL CONTRADICTION. My character can’t be saying THIS if he’s going to be saying the exact OPPOSITE in two chapters. UGH. I seriously did not think this through. 

::continues reading::

This is boring as hell. NOTHING IS HAPPENING. WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG TO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN? Oh, God, no. I’m going to have to cut this. And this. And that. And write more. A lot more. Oh, crap. Why did I ever think writing a novel was easy? WHY? WHY?

Sort of. Kind of. Exactly like that.

Editing process, an internal Monologue V 1.0

Well, this should be easy. I wrote a damn good book the first time. Who said first drafts were hard? This was much better than I …

Wait…WAIT.

That’s my opening line? Oh, no. No, no, no. That needs work. But, all right, that’s okay. I caught it in time. Now I just need to come up with …oh, crap. The whole paragraph sucks. But that’s okay. I’m still good. I can fix this. This is why they call it editing. Because you need to change things. I’m sure the rest of the chapter is …eh …well, it’s not that bad. 

But in the second chapter, that’s where this gets good…any second now. Any second …oh …well, yeah. This. I so didn’t think this through from the start. Another inconsistency. At least I can see them now. Maybe I should just put them in red or something, so I can do one complete re-read and then fix all those little things that …

NO.

NO.

::GIGANTIC PLOT HOLE SMACKS ME IN THE FACE::

OMG. OMG. OMG. What do I do now? What do I do now? I don’t know what to do. I’m confused. I mean, didn’t I think this through? I obviously did not think this through. I thought I had. I mean, I did. In my head. I obviously needed to write some of this stuff down. Okay, I’ll go get a notebook. 

There, that’s it. I just need to figure this little plot point out, and we’re golden. Write this down. Yes, yes. THAT. Good. I’m good. I can do this. Let’s just keep reading.

30 pages later…

I wrote the most annoying character ever. How did I expect someone to like her? Or HIM, for that matter. Can he be any more bland? And, what is this plot? It does not make sense? Is there even a plot here? What was I thinking?

I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to do.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIX THIS? 

::cries::

Yo edito, tú editas, él edita…nosotros editamos?

The first draft of anything is shit, dijo Ernest Hemingway, hace ya bastante rato. No voy a ser yo la que le quite razón a Hemingway, pero me parece que hay que ir un poco más allá. El segundo también lo es. Y posiblemente el tercero. Es por ahí, después de la tercera edición, cuando uno comienza a darse cuenta de que es lo que quería decir, y cómo hacer para decirlo.

Empieza, eh. No lo sabe ya. Ve el camino (y esto es, normalmente, lo más difícil). Todavía hace falta más edición para poder plasmar eso que, por fin, uno puede visualizar. 

¿Quieren ser escritores? He tenido la oportunidad de que alguna gente me pida consejo sobre este tema, como si fuera un tema del que alguien pudiera dar un buen consejo, o como si yo, horror de horrores, supiera algo de esto. No me considero particularmente calificada para dar consejos, pero si me gusta divagar sobre lo que siento y pienso. A veces, eso termina ayudando.

Escribir es una cosa que suena glamorosa. Suena a pura inspiración. Lamento decirles que no es así. No realmente. No es un trabajo fácil. Alguna gente les mentirá, dirán, claro, escribir es solo sentarse y poner en papel lo que salga. Y si, muchas veces, eso es escribir. Pero eso no es ser escritor.

No, ser escritor es una cosa bastante más complicada. Es escribir, la primera vez para entender, porque, en algunas ocasiones, las historias parecen estar escribiéndose solas, los personajes hablando a través de uno y, en medio de este proceso maravilloso y complejo y que no pretendo comprender a veces no hay tiempo para pensar, mucho menos para entender. La segunda vez es para corregir errores gramaticales, o de prosa. De la tercera en adelante, ahí es cuando uno comienza a darle forma a lo que uno, de verdad, quería decir. 

Conozco bastantes escritores que odian el proceso de edición. No voy a mentirles ahora y decirles que yo soy una fanática (todo sería mejor si hiciera la investigación ANTES del primer draft, pero bueno, bad habits die hard), pero si les voy a decir que estoy comenzando a apreciarlo. Pueden salir cosas buenas en el primer draft, sí, pero de la edición…de ahí salen cosas brillantes.

Es algo así como carpintería. Pero esto, esto lo dejamos entre nosotros, eh. A los demás, a los demás le podemos decir que es fácil. A los que prefieren leer, y nunca, pero nunca, lo van a intentar, no tenemos que decirles que mientras más fácil de leer es, más difícil de escribir fue.

No, como bien dijo, otra vez, Hemingway: It's none of their business that you have to learn to write. Let them think you were born that way.