Five Stages of Writing* (Editing): Acceptance

I’ve heard of the five stages of grief, we all have, but I’ve been thinking lately that there are, quite possibly, five stages of writing as well. (If not writing, then editing, at least. Yes. That works). They might even be the same stages. But, even if they’re not (and I’m not getting into that right now), what I’m sure is that the last stage of pretty much anything in life is this: acceptance.

Sounds profound, and yet, I promise you, it’s not. Most of us write because we have to, because there’s a story that needs to be told, and some days we feel like we’re merely the vessel. It’s the universe that’s dictating the story. And, yet, when we’re done, when inspiration dries out and your brain comes into play, the inevitable problems begin.

Why is my character doing that? What the hell is he thinking? I’ve often been faced with a blank when I try to examine my characters motives. It’s not that I don’t know the answer to these questions, it’s that I don’t realize I know the answers to these questions. The universe did not dictate the story, after all. I wrote it. I should know. Except I haven’t given it any thought. So, in truth, I don’t know.

That’s easy to fix, I tell myself. Just sit down and think about it. Except thinking and writing don’t go together. Not really. Thinking is for editing, and editing is all good, except when it’s not. Except when you overthink, not the plot (If you’re going to overthink ANYTHING, make it the plot), but the characters.

Characters are like children. (Or what I imagine children would be like). You don’t have to understand them. You don’t have to agree with them. And, if you try too hard to mold them according to your desires and expectations, then they’ll just be miserable.

So, to sum it up: You don’t have to understand your characters. You just have to love them, as they are.

Acceptance. What a weird concept, especially under the circumstances. Characters are not real, a non-writer would tell them. You create them. In a way, they’re you. And part of that might be true. But you don’t do it consciously. You pick a name and a hair color, but the rest, the rest just comes together, part magic, part dedication. I don’t know how it happens. I just know it does.

Well, no, that’s not all I know. I also know (now) that, once all of that happens, that’s when the hard work begins. The hard work of understanding your characters, of following them down the path that you chose for them while making sure they stay true to themselves. For, as someone smarter than me said “the best thing one can do when it's raining is let it rain.” 

And get an umbrella.

Who’s in charge: You or your characters?

This is one of those questions that seem almost absurd, because, of course, you are in charge. Your characters don’t really exist. They’re figments of your imagination, created for a specific purpose. They have not life of their own. You decide how they look, what they’re wearing, and even who they like. In the world of your own creation, you’re like God, and they, they get no say in what’s going to happen.

Except, anyone who’s ever tried to write anything, knows what I just said is …eh, well, not exactly right.

In fact, it’s mostly wrong.

Because you can plan your short story, you can plan your chapter, and then …well, then the characters come to play. And, as absurd as it sounds to people who have never tried it, they sometimes have a mind of their own.

“They’re not real, so they can’t really have an opinion on things.” My sister tells me. I beg to differ. They are very much real. I might have created them, but they exist. They want things. They have opinions about how/where to get those things. More often than not, those opinions differ greatly from my own.

They might exist only in my head, but they can do plenty of damage there.

Of course, I understand that they don’t really exist. They’re part of my imagination, and every time I feel like deviating from the plan, every time it feels like they’re complaining about the direction I’m taking them in, every time it almost feels like they’re pushing for things to change, well, it’s really my subconscious doing that. Deep down, when they push and complain and refuse to just do as I told them, it’s probably because there is another way. A better way.

It’s all part of the mysterious and often mystifying process of writing.

My friend Carina always gets in trouble with her characters, and I keep telling her, you’re in charge. It’s your story. Except, of course, it’s not. It’s their story. (I admit it). But, within their story, you are God. So, you might not be in charge now (you might never be in charge), but, I think that’s not necessarily a bad thing, as long as you listen to your characters/subconscious, and keep on writing.

Because, even if they think they are in charge every now and then, they don’t exist without you. You are the reason their story is being told. So, yeah, even if your characters are so well crafted that they fancy themselves real people, just remember…they still need YOU.

The writing process or… what exactly do you do?

I write a lot about writing, about books, about characters, because sometimes I feel like I’m a writer first, and everything else comes second. But being a writer is a tricky thing. It’s a solitary thing. It’s also a very personal thing. People sometimes ask me about my writing process: How do you write? What do you do? When do you do it? And, sometimes, I answer, but at the same time, I want to tell them: It doesn’t matter. Not really. Not if you’re asking me because you want to do the same. What works for me might not work for you. In fact, what works for me PROBABLY won’t work for you.

But people keep asking. Sometimes it’s curiosity. I think I asked this question a lot of writers when I was starting out, too. And curiosity I can understand. But writers …we’re very peculiar people. So don’t be surprised at how very strange my rituals seem to you. I would even say, don’t try to replicate them. Be strange in your own way.

So, what do I do? I need silence. Complete silence, at least to start. The first line is always the hardest part for me. The first paragraph. Once I’m done with that I can usually continue even without the total silence I like. But silence is best.

And when I say silence, I mean TOTAL silence. I don’t even listen to music. Music is good for inspiration, I will agree to that, but once I’m actually writing, music is just a distraction. And I get distracted very, very easily.

The other thing I desperately need is a computer. If I’d been born fifty years ago, I probably wouldn’t have managed to be a writer. They say people get used to everything, but I can’t get used to writing by hand. I need to type; typing calms me down. Writing things down by hand is just messy and unpractical. It’s for ideas, snippets, for making sure you don’t forget something, but when you actually get down to business, for me, it’s got to be in front of a computer.

Preferably one with internet. See, it’s this thing I suffer from. It’s kinda like OCD. I have to make things right. I have to edit. I want the chapter to come out perfect the first time around (which is, of course, impossible, and terribly impractical and it ends up taking me twice as long to write things because of this), so I have to look up things. RIGHT AWAY. If I don’t, they’ll just bug me. And when things bug me, I just can’t write. 

I’ve heard people that get up early to write (HA. If I could get up early to do ANYTHING, I’d probably exercise more). I like to write late at night. Very late. Midnight is early for me when I’m writing. I don’t know why, but it seems like I’m at my best when it’s dark outside. Almost like a vampire. (But a real one, not a Stephenie Meyer one). 

So, writing process. Everyone has one, I guess. I doubt my little quirks will do you much good, but now I’m actually curious…what do YOU do? What are your little tricks?